Here is a meditation I wrote for myself on keeping a journal. I hope it speaks to you.
Keep writing. I don’t have to “say anything.” Just let my words flow, as there is wisdom inside. There are depths to explore, an entire world within a single thought, a single feeling. There are vast oceans, and glorious mountains, blue skies and gray skies. Incredible clouds with their own stories, foggy drizzly skies, mist gently covering everything, softening the rough. Revealing secrets, concealing other delights waiting to be discovered. There are huge and tiny worlds within.
shadows and wonders
My imagination is a playground – sometimes filled with laughter and wonder, other times a menacing place after dark. But if I explore the more shadowy recesses, I may see that the darkness holds not monsters, but my own fears asking to be held. So what to do then? Not stare them down aggressively, but maybe gently ask: What are you? What do you want? How can I help?
acknowledging what’s real
Listen to the voice that speaks on the page. Will I find answers? Maybe, maybe not, but answers aren’t the point. Sometimes letting the sadness, fear or anger be is enough. Maybe, like the rest of us, these feelings wish to be acknowledged. Say “I am afraid of being sick, of dying. I am afraid people I love will get sick or die. I am angry that a tiny fraction of people in this world wield far too much power over the rest of us. I am sad that people suffer needlessly when some shifting of priorities could help so many.”
Those words may not sound comforting, but less comforting is pushing my fears or rage or sadness aside. Because feelings don’t magically go away if denied or ignored. They can come out disguised as coldness or small acts of cruelty.
So if you are feeling sad, or afraid, or angry, I think I understand. I often am, too. But acknowledging fear is something. Can you see that as the bravest thing you do today? Because it very well could be.