making magic

I am grateful for my weird, wonderful life. Before I go on, I will say this is not going to be a pep talk. Ugh, I don’t do those, and in fact the only times I’ve ever found them helpful was when I asked a friend, “Hey, I’m having a rough time. Would you give me a pep talk?” Sometimes that really helps, but I get a little prickly when I’m feeling sad or cranky and someone tries to jolly me out of it. So, just know that I won’t be doing that to you, ever.

But in the middle of these messed up and scary times, I’m feeling some hope. I will always hang on to hope. I’m pretty much a barnacle around things and people I love. Part of my hopeful and grateful feeling is that I’ve gotten to see my beloved ocean a few times in the last few weeks (masked up, of course) and am looking forward to going to Lands End even more when it gets cooler. And I got to babysit my grandson L for the first time in months. Babysitting is not a chore for me. It’s a source of delight, magic, surprises , laughter and sometimes, exhaustion. We have our routines, rituals, and inside jokes, and I’ve missed this so much.

Last weekend, L came to visit and it was glorious. He was a pure delight and purely delighted. There was too much TV and too much sugar, but there was also some backyard magic and a lot of imaginative play. I signed us up for a virtual art class and to prepare, we gathered plants, flowers, rocks, twigs, and other bits of nature, so that we could make our own mythical creature. I thought the class would be the best part for L, but he blew that off quickly the next morning. What he loved, though, was wondering around the back of my building. He kept saying, “This is so much fun,” and he continued to say that throughout the weekend. It was fun! And the more he said it, the more the fun was magnified. For us both, I believe.

We ended up with a bag of goodies and an abandoned Zoom class, but there was ice cream making and a visit to a park with racing (he always wins, somehow). Sunday evening, I decided I’d build my own creature, and then L and I photographed it. He got into moving the flash around and pressing the shutter release, and we created something together. It felt like hope to me.